The GST Poem
The country was in such a terrible state,
When Parliament sat for a budget debate.
It was quite a few moments before Howard spoke,
And then he said, "Sex will cost ten bucks a poke."
"Whether you're short, long, skinny or thick,
The tax will be paid on the use of your dick."
Costello said "Now John, please, look here,
Will the tax still be paid by the boys who are queer?"
Minister Downer arose looking glum,
"Will I be exempt?? I only like bum!"
Howard replied in a tone that was airy,
"You'll f**king pay double, you dirty old fairy".
Up rose Kim Beazley to tremendous applause,
He grabbed Stott Despoja, and whipped off her drawers,
He straddled her roughly and f**ked her at will,
Then shouted at Howard "put that on your bill!"
Evans shouted out "I think I'll resign,
I haven't had pussy for a very long time.
I dream every night of a big juicy crutch,
But ten bucks a jump is a bit f**king much".
Off came the skirt of one Cheryl Kernot,
Who sat on the face of some poor old journo.
"This can't be taxed - it isn't quite sex".
'Good point', Howard thought, 'I'll charge it through HECS'.
Not to be left out, in came Meg Lees,
And said with a smile, "I like it in threes!
Does this mean that I will have to pay more?"
Howard replied "That's right, you foul whore".
The debate carried on - oh what a night!
Colston was bonking every woman in sight.
The whole house was screwing, the speaker was too,
And in the excitement, the new bill got through.
So now in the bedrooms of Australia each night,
There's many a fanny closed up good and tight.
They're taxing our booze and taxing our smokes,
And now the bastards are taxing our pokes.
If ten bucks a time is the price we must pay,
It is now with ourselves we all must play.
So to quench our frustrations, we must have a wank.
For the state of our country, we have Howard to thank.
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This page is Copyright © August 1998 by Pat Cox
Updated June 2004